When a male waiter is attending to you in your restaurant experience, they must be treated with respect and dignity. When male waiters are being treated badly, the male waiter will have lower self-esteem. In return, this can negatively impact their work.
Furthermore, when male servers are being mistreated, they may even lash out at customers due to frustration from being disrespected. Not treating male servers right can lead to uncomfortable situations for everybody involved.
Here are some tips on how you should treat male waiters:
1. Don’t ask male waiters to dance for you
Some male servers may be happy and willing to dance on the spot. This includes male strippers. However, male waiters who are simply working as a waiter will not enjoy being asked by customers to dance or strip. Doing so can make customers feel uncomfortable too, especially if the male waiter is young or shy enough that they are visibly nervous.
This doesn’t mean male waiters are not carriers of infectious diseases- it means they don’t want to perform sexual acts for your enjoyment in public.
2. Don’t ask male waiters out
Asking male waiters out either at work or outside of work is an effective way to put them in an awkward situation. Not only does asking male waiters out make them uncomfortable, male waiters feel they can’t say no when a customer asks them to do something outside of their normal job. In this situation, male waiters may be forced to engage in sexual activity or other activities the male waiter doesn’t want to do.
3. Don’t touch male servers without the permission
Touching male servers without permission is not OK even if male servers appear female and/or wear clothes that appear female such as mini skirts and high heels. Even though there might be some male servers who enjoy being touched inappropriately by customers, most male servers will not appreciate it and will feel violated and angry rather than flattered.
Touching male servers without permission gives off the impression you think you have consent because male servers wear clothing that appears female. As male servers, we don’t appreciate people touching us without permission or consent.
4. Don’t assume male waiters are prostitutes
Male servers are not male prostitutes just because they are male. Male waiters have to deal with enough unwanted advances from customers who mistake them for male prostitutes due to their appearance without having to deal with customers thinking male waiters are always there to sell sex.
When male waiters realize their profession is being mistaken as male prostitution, this can cause serious safety issues- especially if the male waiter works in a dangerous area where male prostitution is common and the male waiter has no way of defending themselves against attackers without losing income needed to pay bills and food on the table for themselves or their families.
5. Don’t insult male waiters
If male servers are doing a bad job, it’s important to remember male servers are people too. Insulting male waiters about their skills will make them feel terrible, even if they do deserve it sometimes. Sometimes male servers may mess up orders or spill drinks on you by accident which can result in male waiters feeling terrible for what they did wrong but still having to stay professional and apologize anyways.
Even male strippers who work at male strip clubs have feelings- insulting male strippers will not make them want to give you extra attention or play with your body parts during private dances any more than female servers who work at regular restaurants would want to touch customers inappropriately when asked during their jobs.
6. Give male waiters compliments on their clothes or appearance
Complimenting male waiters on how they look is fine- but remember male servers are not male prostitutes no matter how many male servers dress like one! Don’t assume male servers’ outfits mean they want some sort of sexual gratification or that all male servers will be willing to touch you inappropriately just because they’re dressed up in some fancy clothing.
This can lead to some embarrassing and awkward situations, even if male servers do enjoy dressing up sometimes. Male servers work hard for their money just like everyone else so don’t assume male waiters will give you special treatment because of what male waiters are wearing.
7. Be polite to male waiters
It doesn’t take much effort to be polite to male waiters or male strippers. Even if male servers don’t act like male prostitutes, they still deserve respect because male waiters are human beings just like everyone else. Being polite makes all the difference between receiving good service and receiving bad service.
Male servers dress up sometimes- that doesn’t mean male servers want customers to touch them inappropriately or expect something sexual in return for good customer service.
If you follow these guidelines when dealing with male waiters, this should decrease awkward situations involving male waiters and give the male waiter a better chance at being treated as equals rather than sex objects who have to put up with unwanted advances from customers just trying to make a living! A little bit of respect goes a long way and male servers work hard to make a living just like everyone else!